The most recent book I have read was titled Kathy’s Story by Kathy O’Beirne. Based In Dublin, Ireland in the 18th to late 20th centuries, Kathy was born into a family of disgrace and abuse. Her family sent through a series of catholic-run reformatory homes and psychiatric institutions. Hundreds of thousand of ‘fallen women’ were transferred in and out of the Catholic church’s care, and left to fall between the cracks. Following her 18 years of sexual, emotional and physical abuse, she left the Magdalene Laundry she was presently at. Kathy’s Story is an autobiography of her past abuse and her future of forgiving those in her past. In her appendix, Kathy describe the building of all future relationships a struggle. She mentioned always being defensive and isolating herself for the wrong reasons, and almost found it impossible to build trust with anyone around her. Her book made me appreciative of growing up in such a secure environment, and also made me question modern communication.
We learn the communication we experience. With healthy communication, we often use positive body language, engaging clearly and directly, and portray our emotions with our voice tone and pitch. In our interpersonal relationships, trust is built off of effective communication. In our daily lives, most of our interactions are simple and respectful, and we feel safe with those we are in contact with. If that illusion of safety was shattered, we would deeply appreciate our families, schools and communities for what they raised us to be.
Seeing as Kathy was surrounded by continuous, constant negativity, her self esteem was severely tarnished, and communication skills almost on existent. Because she was told she was worthless all her life, the way she communicated with the world demonstrated that. All she knows from her dark past is damage and hurt, and numbing her emotions so she doesn’t feel anything. Even in the present, after years of counselling and attempts at forgiveness and relationship development, she still feels as if she is not whole, like there is a piece of her missing. That piece can never be retrieved, and her experiences can be used as a reminder of how important nurture and love is in our cognitive developpment.
stephmacintosh 